I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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