just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
