i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
