Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
