He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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