Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
