Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
