just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
