just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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