2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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