I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
