i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
we should paint friendship bongs
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