he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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