I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize