I'm gonna have a badass scar
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize