theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
