Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
