Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
