a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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