i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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