Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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