And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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