i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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