why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
