It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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