oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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