coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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