I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
