You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
