Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
