Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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