So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
