She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
