at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He passed out mid-signature
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
