there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
