dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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