the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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