Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
