My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
