Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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