yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
