You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
