she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
