Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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