...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
