I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
