I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
