I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
