I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
