How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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