Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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