I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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