I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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