very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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