Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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