how can u be prego again
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
