went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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