i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
