Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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