walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
